I have been so busy with school that I haven’t been writing in my journal. Tennis tryouts are today. I want to make it on the team but I wish I had the time. But I’m willing to put in the effort. Just so I can feel like I’m good at something, for once. Homeroom Boy is trying out as well. I hope that if I make it, he does too. And if I don’t make it, he doesn’t either. Or maybe I make it and not him.
I told Roopa who I liked. Big mistake - I have to take it back. I promised her last year that I was over Homeroom Boy. I don’t care if she knows I like Bio Class Cutie. Mr. Math Class is okay, too, I guess. Why am I such a turnoff to guys, though?
Ami B. Homeroom Boy
I think I’m leaning towards leaving AB. I don’t know, opportunities like this aren’t common or easy to get. I actually wasn’t expecting to get in [to Concord Academy], but I did. Maybe some good will come out. I still like Homeroom Boy. It’s not fair, why does he hate me? Life isn’t always fair, I suppose.
Homeroom Boy definitely doesn’t <3 me. I really wish he did. Three years is a really long time to like someone. I’m so upset. I wish I was pretty so he would <3 me, too. I wish I was supermodel pretty. Then he would ask me to the semi-formal. But I’m not, and he won’t. I swear, I’m destined for a stag life. No one has EVER liked me. Guy-wise, that is. Maybe if I go to CA, that will change. I dunno. I’m not used to change.
What if my social standing at AB is as high as it will ever be? What if going to Concord Academy turns out to be a terrible mistake? I really couldn’t care less about the academic part of high school because I can’t go wrong there either way. It won’t be a problem. But the social aspect of it will definitely be a problem. What a decision. I really wish I had help. Anyway, at least I got in.
Today I got admission into Concord Academy. I was SO not expecting it. I still can’t believe it. Of course, I don’t know if I’ll go, but I can make my own choice now. What if I am a really big loser there. I really wish I knew how to make the right decision.
Kelly fought with my parents a a LOT, usually defending her friends. “Maybe Jaclyn has a rep, but what’s in a rep? She’s cool, she’s straight-edge!” and “I like Darren. He used to get wasted a lot but he’s ok!”
Yeah, right. That was freshman year, my senior year. My graduation was the greatest time of my life. I didn’t see Kelly there, though, and I was thoroughly disappointed.
I am now officially over the following things:
1) My ex-friendship with E. & A.
2) Making fun of innocent people.
3) Slacking off
4) Brad Pitt
5) Full House Reruns
Homeroom Boy spoke to me today! He said, “whadya do in English?” And I said, “We had a pop quiz on the prologue of Romeo and Juliet.” Somehow, making a good impression on Homeroom Boy means so much to me that I subconsciously restrain myself from making a fool out of myself in front of him.